Learning Thankfulness

Eucharisteo, that's Greek for what is essentially "he gave thanks," is something I've been learning.  In general, I consider myself a pretty positive person, it takes a lot to get me down and I can find something to smile about it most situations.  However, sometimes, there is a nagging under the surface that I'm not quite "nailing" this whole LIFE thing.  My church attendance has been hindered by sick kids and physical exhaustion in recent weeks.  I've made a point to take time to read, watch, and listen to teachers during this time and everything keeps coming back to prayer and how I pray.  Top that off with thankfulness as a part of prayer and you now should be starting to at least see if not feel the gavel hitting my head...over...and over...and over again.  DOH!!  I've been screwing this up!

I'm in the middle of reading One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, which was loaned to me by a dear friend.  As soon as I started reading, I was struck by the authors intentionality.  Am I living my life with that type intention or am I letting things that frustrate and hurt me follow me around or just sit in the corner staring, poking, settling in?  After continuing my read and identifying areas that I not only need to improve, but must make more intentional, I want to start making a point to write out the things I'm thankful for.

Anyone who knows me at all knows that if something comes up in passing and I don't write it down I sometimes don't remember (okay often!).  However, if a slow down, tuck it away for rumination or if I do write it down, then it is stuck with me forever. An example: Elephants eat a lot, not because of their size, but because they have highly inefficient digestive systems that don't extract all of the nutrients from their food sources.  I don't remember where or when I learned this.  My sister frequently gives me the "you're a freak" look when I jump into the conversation with something that just pops back into my mind (in my defense it's usually a little more relevant to the conversation than elephant digestive systems).  However, I want to be able to remember why I know these things to be true.  I need to be able to back things up.  I need to know that I know why I know how I know for what I know, not just that I know.

The second part of this Eucharisteo is not just for me.  I work with a population and in an environment that is much more stressed and under more pressure than most.  They're some of the brightest people I'll ever meet, but I see then struggle daily with the demands they feel they must meet or they will lose their value.  I want to share my thankfulness in everyday life with them, that it may be a door opener for conversations and a bit of thought for them to take and chew on themselves.  I'll be posting my Eucharisteo moments here, but also on my apartment door for them to share.  Thankfulness is not something that can be contained or hoarded, that's why we gather to be thankful.  So many of the moments of eucharisteo in the Bible were moments of gathering to share food, thoughts, moments.  

Sharing is a vital part, but cannot be achieved when one is dry from spiritual exhaustion.  It takes a continual effort of making a point to seek Him out daily to keep myself focused, filled, and up for the task He's seen fit to give me.  It's the joy in knowing that right now, this "mission field" he's given me is just exactly where I'm supposed to be that lets me go to bed weary, but not wake up dreading the day coming.  For that, I am so very, very thankful.  By God's grace I am alive, I am his child, I have been chosen to reflect his love.  I fail at this, but his grace prevails, he still has and continues to shower me with grace to allow me to be thankful and find joy in life. 

Eucharisteo #1: a job that not only provides a paycheck, but that I can wake up excited for the day ahead. 

Summer Rains and Nights

The Walk:

As I walked out my back door last night to go to work I was overcome by the smell of wet grass and asphalt, smoothly blended with the heavy, amplified aroma of flower blooms.  It's funny how a cold, cloudy day can be changed so quickly by just 15 minutes of rain.  It was the smell of summer.

The Drive:

My mind was still preoccupied with processing the smells from a few minutes prior but I couldn't help but observe with awe the deep pigments and fading light of an almost spent sunset.  Wow.  It was so beautiful.  Who am I to deserve to witness and partake of this beauty? Everyday?

The After:

Pulling back into my parking lot the moon, or rather the obvious lack thereof of a definite "moon" caught my attention.  Sometimes the nature of something shines through even though the face of it is hidden. Like the moon behind a cloud, the bright streams of light break through the patches of open sky giving one glimpses of the bright hope that is beyond and even though you can't see the face of the moon, you know it is there by the beautiful reflected light.

Isn't that what my life is supposed to look like? Like the moon, seeing ME is unnecessary.  My purpose is to reflect the light of my Father's Grace, Mercy, Love, and Hope to the dark world.  That light much more observable if the moon's face isn't distractingly drawing attention to itself.  

Just one more?

This has been running through my head for weeks now.  All day, everyday.  "Bless the Lord O my soul, O my soul, Sing like never before, O my soul,  I worship Your holy name."  I push myself to do this, but find myself always looking for "one more reason" first.  I need to remind myself I already have 10,000 reasons.....I shouldn't need more.