Life in a Residence Hall: The Worst Part of the Job

When people think of what the worst part of life as an RD, I know many think it would likely be the constantly over flowing toilets, the never ending relationship drama, continually reminding students they left their moms and maids at home, reminding students to go to class and do their homework, and the ridiculous hours. Maybe some of you have a better idea - you know it has to be the boat load of paper work that follows an incident report, especially one with multiple people involved.

For me, none of those even comes close to dismissing a student from the residence hall. I HATE dismissals. I mean I don't like disciplinary parts anyways, but these are the worst of the worst. Even when the resident is someone who had it coming, who has repeatedly made poor decisions throughout their time here I hate terminating their housing agreement.

Yes, they're my resident, but they're also a part of the fabric and community here in the building, it stinks when they are no longer welcome because they made one too many stupid decisions.

Usually dismissals are people who are already on probation, they've maybe struggled with classes or broken the rules. Most residents make an honest effort when given a second chance. To watch and be a part of great improvement in an individual only to have them slip up and be dismissed is heart wrenching. Who knows if they'll be able to commute and stay in school to graduate, if they'll give up the change and say "F*ck it" (sorry, it's the most common phrase around here) and go back to the mess they were before.....I don't dare say.

So many of them have such messed up lives away from here. Normalcy has a completely foreign meaning for me when applied to their lives. Multiple parents, step parents, foster parents, adoptive parents, stand in parents, and the all too common absent parents. Not to mention the jail time, lost driver's licenses, etc.; it's overwhelming.

It leaves me with moments where all I can do is breathe and pray.

The Best Parts of Being an Adult (to be added to!)

• Eating ice cream sundaes for supper or cookies for breakfast
• Driving
• Taking really long showers without someone yelling, "You're using too much hot water!"
• Popcorn is allowed to be a major food group
• Bedtime can be whenever you want (as long as you remember to set your alarm :) )
• You only have to clean up your own messes (well, as long as you're single and aren't obsessed with cleaning up everyone's messes for them!)
• You can eat junk cereal two days in a row without getting into trouble
• If you forget to clean your room before you go "play" you aren't grounded
• You don't HAVE to brush your teeth before you go to bed......but it's still a good idea
• If you feel like wearing plaid with those polka dots, YOU CAN! (but you might end up on the next episode of What Not To Wear)
• You can be friends with whomever you choose and how you choose is up to you
• You (hopefully) realize that you're an integral piece of a great puzzle and everything you do has repercussions and meaning. Life has a purpose and you're important!

Dandelion Analogies

A stubborn little weed that insists on shoving its impudent head through sidewalk crevices, hopping over flower garden barricades and taking over well kept lawns, a dandelion is a generally disliked nuisance of the summer months.  That said, as spring has finally sprung I've decided I like them.  They tend to tell a story about the people who  own the landscapes  they invade.  

Let me explain... 

Of course most people claim to hate dandelions, but most don't really seem to do much other than half heartedly douse them with RoundUp a couple of times a season.  Others though, they wage a full out war on the fuzzy flowers.  These people are the ones with the perfectly manicured lawns where every blade of grass is uniform and there are no "extra" hideaways taking up residence.  There are still others whose lawns could probably be more easily referred to as "dandelion patches," which are very similar to watermelon patches.....except no watermelons, just dandelions.  

The stories I was reading on people's front lawns went a little like this: dandelions will appear without fail every spring, that's just how it is.  Their yellow,  fuzzy, impudent blossoms fill children's arms and make bouquets for mom's with allergies every year.  None of this will change no matter which of the above three categories someone falls into.  I guess I was struck by how much time society puts into making a perfectly manicured lawn.  Now don't get me wrong, rolling green lawns do look pretty!  However, I decided I LIKED the little orangey yellow flowers because the houses that had them covering their lawns probably had people inside who decided there was something more important in their lives than winning the "best looking lawn" contest on their block.  They decided time spent with people was more important than time spent trying to determine how they would be perceived by said people.  (All of this makes sense in my head....maybe just not so much in writing).  If we spend all our time working out how we are going to "look" and be "perceived" but don't GO and actually spend time with the people being real, we are wasting one of our most precious resources--time. 

I hope my yard is full of dandelions someday.   :)

FACADES

Facades.

Intentional or no, I believe we all have them to an extent.  Sometimes I wonder if they are to protect ourselves or to “protect” those around us from what we are afraid they’d think. 

What causes them?

I don’t know.  Maybe we’ve done something we’re afraid of judgment for?  Something or someone we are ashamed of?  Maybe there isa hurt on the inside that we are trying ot scab over.  Maybe it has healed but we are afraid of  re-injury.  Sometimes believe it may seem that there are facades when we need only to have the patience to knock, open the doors, and look beyond

An event that recently impacted me regarding facades was when I met a seemingly great young man.  While I would not consider him a friend, we were good acquaintances.  I generally consider myself a pretty good judge of character. 

**NOTE** I am not in anyway trying to pass judgment on this young man.  I am merely commenting on my reaction.**

In all of our interactions I was struck by the complete normalcy of him.  He was laid back, courteous, laughed, and smart.  He was excited about his program of study, hit it off well with his roommates and was looking forward to his next two years.  Then there was an unpredictable twist in his apparently normal life.  Somehow over a weekend, hem managed to become intoxicated, trashed a house, and was arrested.  It turns out he had a record of 2 prior arrests for alcohol related incidents.  Needless to say he is no longer here. 

Facades.

So carefully built, yet just one crack and it all falls apart.  I haven’t been able to shake this young man from my mind.  When I think of his story I am saddened.  Choices—our bricks in life that can be used to build a life of truth or to create a façade of what we seem to be.  I can only pray for him as his life has taken this sharp curve in another direction that God would bring someone into his life to ease his hurting and to give him blueprints for building a life of truth, a chance to remodel and build again. 

New Year, New Semester, New Snow

I'm not a big believer in "new year's resolutions", but i decided to make a few "goals" for myself this year. They are in no particular order:

1. Cut all dairy from my diet (I'm allergic and it is making me sick--don't worry I'm taking Calcium!)
2. Blog more frequently.....boy that one is going well!
3. Complete at least 75% of my nursing reading by the day before the class
4. Learn how to play racquetball....but I need a racquet :)
5. Keep my room mostly picked up and clean ALL the time
6. Refresh my Spanish

Not too long or overly exciting but something a little different not the less.

This semester is in full swing. Last week was miserably stressful, I had return demos for injections, clinical site orientation, I almost got in a car accident (gotta love 180s), and I had a Nursing Exam. UGH. Everything turned out okay and I actually did pretty well on my exam :)

I came back this semester expecting to have no hall-mates as my last one moved out at the end of last semester. I was pleasantly surprised to find 3 new women in Heather's place! I like them all and we get along well! Estela is from Portland, it took me quite a while to figure out the reason I couldn't understand her was because she has only lived here for 5 years and before that lived in Egypt and Sudan. She's a hoot and went home with me this weekend. Ashlei is from Jonesport. She's a nursing student, too, and has a thick downeast accent :) Candi is my mom's age and is from Oklahoma. She's pretty overwhelmed with all the studying but is determined! I have to help her every now and then with her computer and DVD player....it is just like being at home! haha

God's been pretty cool thus far. I was really not wanting to live on campus this semester but God didn't give me any peace about moving off. I stayed and God has given me so many opportunities! Last weekend I decided to do an impromptu game night with a few friends, i think there were 5 of us total. We had a blast and a couple of them have approached me about doing it again soon, maybe this weekend! :):):) Sooooo excited! :)

Well, I still have a lot of reading to do. I get to dissect a sheep eye this afternoon in anatomy, woohoo! My lab partner is grossed out and is bringing a mask. heehee

hugs, e.