Life in a Residence Hall: The Worst Part of the Job

When people think of what the worst part of life as an RD, I know many think it would likely be the constantly over flowing toilets, the never ending relationship drama, continually reminding students they left their moms and maids at home, reminding students to go to class and do their homework, and the ridiculous hours. Maybe some of you have a better idea - you know it has to be the boat load of paper work that follows an incident report, especially one with multiple people involved.

For me, none of those even comes close to dismissing a student from the residence hall. I HATE dismissals. I mean I don't like disciplinary parts anyways, but these are the worst of the worst. Even when the resident is someone who had it coming, who has repeatedly made poor decisions throughout their time here I hate terminating their housing agreement.

Yes, they're my resident, but they're also a part of the fabric and community here in the building, it stinks when they are no longer welcome because they made one too many stupid decisions.

Usually dismissals are people who are already on probation, they've maybe struggled with classes or broken the rules. Most residents make an honest effort when given a second chance. To watch and be a part of great improvement in an individual only to have them slip up and be dismissed is heart wrenching. Who knows if they'll be able to commute and stay in school to graduate, if they'll give up the change and say "F*ck it" (sorry, it's the most common phrase around here) and go back to the mess they were before.....I don't dare say.

So many of them have such messed up lives away from here. Normalcy has a completely foreign meaning for me when applied to their lives. Multiple parents, step parents, foster parents, adoptive parents, stand in parents, and the all too common absent parents. Not to mention the jail time, lost driver's licenses, etc.; it's overwhelming.

It leaves me with moments where all I can do is breathe and pray.

Life in a Residence Hall - Some Days You Can Only Laugh

I really need to start keeping a journal in my office to keep track of all the "normal" yet crazy day to day things that go on when your home is a residence hall filled with 145 college kids.  

I figured I'd share a few of the laughable moments from the semester thus far: 

• One of my Korean residents had only been in the states 3 days when her toilet overflowed  (we have bad toilets, this happens all the time) flooding 2 resident rooms and the bathroom plus three rooms downstairs.  The poor girl was still jet lagged and her english was still pretty iffy.  After the mess was fully cleaned up she burst into tears  and was nearly inconsolable.  After a while, she was able to answer my questions of what was wrong and said she was afraid that all the other residents would only know her as the girl who flooded the building! 

• A resident tracked thick mud through all of first and second floor of our building so I walked upstairs to ask him to remove his muddy boots from the hallway and to mop up the mess.  When I told him I'd even get him a mop and a "wet floor" sign he said he had his own mop and whipped out one of those sponge ones and a little 1 1/2 gallon bucket.  I told him I'd still grab the wet floor sign and I'd be right back.  Upon returning with the wet floor sign I found him happily mopping the floor with one hand and carrying his water bucket with the other ---- while stripped to his boxer briefs.   I just said thank you for mopping :)

• On a Sunday evening, after returning from a weekend off, a student came running into my office, all excited.  "Did you hear what happened to ________?" "No?" Well, apparently someone (at that point unknown) had posted another resident in the Men for Men personal ads section of Craigslist.com complete with phone number and real photos.  The poor guy's phone had been blowing up all day on Saturday with text messages.  Apparently the kid had just gotten a new phone and didn't have anyone's number so when he got the first text of "Hey we should get together sometime" he responded with "Sweet deal" and then received "I'm a little older than you're looking for, 35 but if your good I'm in" to which he thought it was still just a friend of his being stupid and replied, "Age is just a number" after that it went downhill quick and is not blog worthy, but man, while I felt bad for him he's a good sport and is laughing about it now. 

• One of my residents (who happens to have a bright red beard and thick BRIGHT red hair) decided for the second time this year to shave the top of his head so he looks like a cross between a monk and a really bad impersonation of Red Forman from "That 70's Show."  Last time it was because he lost a bet.....this week?  He just felt like a hair cut.   Another student asked him if he was doing a "breaking the social norms" project (which is USUALLY why students are doing above and beyond weird things (like a 300lb guy wearing a strapless gown through the Bangor Mall.....he was also covered in tattoos and had a mohawk)), but nah, this is just his "norm." 

Beyond that it's just the normal occurrences of guys wanting to make team t-shirts but not knowing how to read directions or run an iron and they only have 45 minutes until their game starts; packing tape across doorways; lube in the shower; burnt popcorn fire alarms; community service kids playing with the backpack vac; lobby twister parties; and lots and LOTs of easy mac.......  If you're thinking of purchasing stock, Kraft and the company that own Maruchan noodles is the way to go....LOL

O Yummo!

Okay, I don't think I've ever really posted recipes on here before, however, I had to share :)  I LOVE cookies.  Homemade cookies for breakfast is by far the best breakfast in my book!  

Many of you know I have pretty severe GERD and that means I need to avoid chocolate (AHHHH!) to  keep my digestive system happy and the heartburn at bay.  This especially stunk because Chocolate Chip Cookies were one of my most favorite snacks in the universe.   

I didn't want to TOTALLY give up on my favorite snack so I started playing with my recipe....the result?  AWESOME.  Possibly even new favorite cookie quality.  So far they've been received with rave reviews by my friends, resident students, family members, and most importantly *cough*cough* ME!  

Soooooo I thought I might share my creation :)  

Cookies de Yummo 

1 c. (2 sticks) Butter, softened (or 1 each butter & margarine)

3/4 c. White Sugar

3/4 c. Brown Sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp. Vanilla Extract

2 1/4 c. Flour

1 tsp. Salt

1 tsp. Baking Soda

1 c. Oatmeal (Old Fashioned or Quick Oats, it doesn't matter)

1 1/2 c. Craisins

1 bag or 2 c. White Chocolate Chips

Preheat oven to 375F.

In mixing bowl beat sugars and butter at a high speed until creamed and color lightens.

Scrape down bowl and add eggs and vanilla; beat slightly.

Add flour, salt, baking soda, and oatmeal and mix until well combined.  

Lastly, add craisins and chocolate chips and mix well. 

Drop by spoonfuls or use a scoop* onto ungreased cookie sheets and cook for 8-11 minutes.  Cookies should be lightly golden around edge but with little color in centers.   Let cool on a wire rack for 3-5 minutes before removing from pan.  

 * A #50 scoop yields 5 dozen cookies. 

Slowing Down

I miss blogging.  I've allowed myself to get so caught up in the day to day to do lists and never ending cycles of just one more or I have time for that that I've neglected to keep my outlet for things that make me think or laugh or wonder.  

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, even though it is 24 hours a day most days of the week.  I've been praying to not allow myself to lose sight of the important parts in the heaps of papers, boxes of files, never ending emails, and exploding binders of disciplinary incidents.  It's easy for me to tune out the chaos and "mhm" my way through a conversation when I'm working against a deadline or prepping for yet another meeting, but those conversations are the reason I do this job.  

Just because a particular student might drive me crazy every time they flop into the armchair across from my desk doesn't make their problems and concerns for the day any less important or any less deserving of my attention.   

One of the most frequent reminders I have for them is to ask them what went WELL/GOOD during their day.  They often have a hard time identifying something.   Their days are filled with relationship drama of their own, the over flowing toilets, bad cafeteria food, and forgetting to study for tests so they get bad grades.  Sometimes it's hard to see the happy points.  I love asking them about their days, their faces get that thinking look and then their eyes light up, "I got an A on my math test!  It was the first A I've EVER had in math!" or "Oh!  Have you seen the Lifting Competition flyers?  They have a picture of ME in the background doing the deadlift!  How cool is that?!  I want to put them up everywhere!" or "I found my key!" or "Look! I'm wearing heels!  They make me have a butt!"

These might seem like weird things to get excited about, but if I'm having these conversations with them, they also tell me when stuff is not so good and when they need help.  It is usually the students who I don't talk with who are the ones who drop out or fail out.  Talking with them and genuinely listening helps me relay that I CARE about them, I WANT to know what is going on and that I LIKE them.   

When I let the other parts of my job take precedent over that part, I'm failing us all.